Bring your desire back after 45.
For women who've lost their spark and miss feeling alive and sexy in their own skin.
Self · Body · Relationship · Emotions · Spirit
TEDx Speaker · Dr. Lori C. Ebert, PhD · Health Educator · Sexual Wellness Expert
TEDx Speaker
How Orgasms Cause World Peace
Dr. Lori took the TEDx stage with a bold idea: pleasure and connection change more than our bedrooms. They change how we treat ourselves, each other and the world.
Watch the talkMidlife isn't a crisis. It's your turn-on point.
Dr. Lori C. EbertIt felt like someone flipped a switch.
One day you wanted him. Then, almost overnight, you didn't. Maybe you didn't want anyone, or anything.
- You still love your partner, but lately you feel more like roommates.
- You go along with sex for his sake, and it feels like one more chore.
- Your body won't cooperate the way it used to: dryness, discomfort, numbness, or an orgasm that won't come.
- You don't want to be touched, and then you feel guilty for it.
- You look in the mirror and don't recognize yourself. You miss feeling sexy. You miss feeling desired.
- You're exhausted. You give to everyone, and there's nothing left for you.
You're not broken, and you're not alone. Your desire isn't gone. It's waiting for you to come back to it.
You've tried. Here's why it didn't stick.
Maybe you started hormone replacement therapy (HRT). It helped your sleep and your hot flashes, but your desire stayed flat. Maybe you read the books, tried the supplements, or heard "use it or lose it" and felt worse.
Desire in midlife isn't one problem with one fix. Hormones matter, and your doctor is the right person for that part. But desire also lives in how you see yourself, how your body feels, how safe you feel with your partner, how much you're carrying, and whether you feel any joy at all.
When one of those is out of balance, a pill or a cream can't reach it. That's what the Sextacular® 5 Pillars Method was built for.
Five pillars. One whole woman.
The method works on all five areas that shape desire in midlife, so you're not fixing one piece while the rest pulls you back.
This work turns off codependence, people-pleasing, over-giving and sexual shutdown, and turns you back on.
Self
"I don't recognize myself anymore."
You know who you are now and what you want, and you say it out loud.
Body
Tired, dry, numb, not at home in your skin.
You feel alive and turned on in your body again, and know how to work with its changes.
Relationship
Roommates. Sex as a chore or a duty.
Connection without pressure, and touch you actually want.
Emotions
Running on empty, giving to everyone.
Boundaries, rest, and energy left over for you.
Spirit
Lonely, flat, missing your spark.
Joy, belonging, and a sisterhood of women who get it.
Which pillar is holding you back?
Find out which archetype you're living in right now, and get your Spark Solutions™ Report with 3 steps you can start tonight.
"We learned more in our first session than we did in a year of therapy!"
Catherine, 59
"I'm feeling brave, strong and authentic!"
J.H., 46 · Married, no sex for 5 years
"Dr. Lori Ebert changed my life!"
K.W., 49 · Married, struggling with intimacy
"I trust myself, my marriage, my leadership and my decisions in business!"
C.R. · Client
Your first 90 days. One theme at a time.
Each month brings one theme, so you grow step by step instead of all at once. Month-to-month, cancel anytime.
What you get every month
- Your starting pointYour archetype, your pillar, and your Spark Solutions™ Report with your first 3 steps.
- Live coachingLive group coaching on Tuesday evenings at 6pm Arizona (8pm Eastern, 5pm Pacific), with replays.
- Rituals and practiceGentle yoga, Pilates stretching and guided meditations, plus pleasure practices and full and new moon gatherings.
- Your workbook and meditationsA monthly workbook and guided meditation pack for that month's theme.
- SisterhoodA private community inside Sextacular® School, for women who get it.
- Private time with Dr. Lori1:1 sessions are included in The Mirror (one a month) and The Portal (two a month).
Start where you are. Rise from there.
Month-to-month. Upgrade or cancel anytime.
The Circle
$77 / month
- Sextacular® School access
- Live group coaching
- Workbook and meditation pack
The Mirror
$333 / month
- Everything in The Circle
- A private 1:1 session with Dr. Lori
- Ritual Kit Guidebook
- The Mystic Circle
The Portal
$555 / month
- Everything in The Mirror
- 2 private 1:1 sessions with Dr. Lori
- Your Soul Code® Report
- A 1:1 Soul Reading
Dr. Lori C. Ebert
Dr. Lori C. Ebert holds a PhD in Health Education from the University of New Mexico, where her expertise is behavior change. She is a Sexual Wellness expert and relationship coach. Her TEDx talk, "How Orgasms Cause World Peace," made a bold case that pleasure and connection change more than our bedrooms.
She has spent years helping women and couples rebuild desire and connection by working on the whole woman: body, mind, relationship and spirit. She created the Sextacular® 5 Pillars Method because she saw the same pattern again and again. Women were treating one piece of the problem while the other four pulled them back.
"Love is the juiciest thing we've got! Life is short and meant to be fun! I want you to fall in love with yourself, love your body, desire toe-curling ecstasy and Make Love to Life!"
~ Dr. Lori
Before you say yes
Is this normal? Is it menopause?
Very often, yes. Losing desire in perimenopause and menopause is one of the most common things women search for. It's real, it has reasons, and you're far from alone.
I'm already on hormone therapy (HRT). Will this help?
Yes, and it works alongside it. Many women find hormones help their sleep and hot flashes but not their desire. The 5 Pillars work on everything hormones can't reach.
Is this medical treatment?
No. This is education and behavior-change coaching from a PhD health educator. It complements your doctor's care and doesn't replace it.
Do I need a partner?
No. Desire belongs to you, partnered or not. Many members are single, divorced or dating again.
Will it ever come back?
For most women, desire changes rather than disappears. The work is learning what turns you on now, not chasing who you were at 30.
How much time does it take?
Live group coaching on Tuesday evenings at 6pm Arizona (8pm Eastern, 5pm Pacific), plus short practices you fit into your week. Every call is recorded.
Can I cancel?
Yes, anytime. It's month-to-month with no long contract.
Which path is right for me?
Start with The Circle and upgrade anytime, or book a free 15-minute Spark Call and we'll decide together.
Show up, do the practices, and if you don't feel a real shift in your first 30 days, tell me and we'll work together to make it right. And you can cancel anytime, no questions asked.
Your spark isn't gone. It's waiting.
The Founding Circle begins Sunday, November 8, with only 25 founding spots. Lock in your founding rate before we begin. Start with the 2-minute quiz to find your archetype and your first three steps.