Today, instead of working 60-hour weeks in career that was suffocating me,
I coach women, men and couples to create deep connection, playful passion
and toe-curling ecstasy
in a life they love!
Well, I am!
I just didn’t know I would teach about relationships and sex!
As a Health Educator, behavior change is my kryptonite and my speciality is health, love, relationships and sex!
(As well as food and yoga but more on that later…)
My gift, talent, or “medicine” is catalytic transformation for blissful living!
Who doesn’t want that?
Actually a lot of people.
I didn’t until my first wake up call at 38.
It started young with sexual molestation. Growing up a latch-key kid. Developing early. Attracting male attention I didn’t want. No’s that were never heard, or ignored. Sexual violations by neighbor boys. Acquaintance rape by a popular athlete.
No where to go, no one to tell. A painful, unsafe childhood and adolescence full loneliness and tears.
This started a life long relationship of self loathing, body hatred and toxic relationships.
Victim. Promiscuity. Victim. Celibacy. Victim.
College was a reiteration of the same. Just more painful and dramatic.
Until an emotionally abusive “prince charming” found me. I somehow believed marriage would fix it all. More of the same.
College was my home away from home so I kept going and learning.
Despite spending my 20’s in therapy and studying health, psychology, human development, sociology, communication disorders… nothing seemed to be changing.
I had so many habits. Patterns. Mind sets. Beliefs.
Never mind the constraints of family, peers, religion,
and generational conversations.
I wasn’t getting worse, but I wasn’t much better at living and loving healthy.
So I worked and worked and worked.
Regional Vice President.
And I got educated.
Bachelors Science Communication Disorders.
Masters Science Audiology.
Ph.D. Health Education.
By 38 I had a Ph.D., a brand new car and bought my first house.
I also hated myself and my “dream” life.
I had everything I worked hard for and I wasn’t happy.
I was in a new city, no friends and all I did was work.
After much urging from my parents and their willingness to pay for it…
I signed up for a personal development course.
Little did I know that course would transform my life forever and awaken me to the story I was living into.
For six years I relentlessly turned myself inside out, healed, and transformed behaviors.
I created a life I loved (or so I thought.)
A successful career, with a six-figure income and fancy title.
A house I bought on my own.
A nice car.
Fashionable wardrobe, cute purses, and lots of shoes.
On the outside it looked like a dream.
On the inside it was hell.
I had everything I said I wanted and I still wasn’t happy.
I stuffed my self hatred and pain deep inside.
I protected myself from men with weight.
I shopped to stay numb.
I worked to avoid feeling.
I dressed cute to hide my self loathing.
I was unhealthy, sad and lonely.
I had healed and done so much work, and it wasn’t enough.
The only thing that made me happy at the time was my side hobby – talking about sex!
I had taught human sexuality during my doctoral studies and loved it.
It started as a curiosity to understand men and relationships and turned into years of research and my life passion.
When I wasn’t working I was talking about sex, love and relationships and everyone was talking to me.
I started doing events, interviews and speaking publicly as Dr.SexTalk®.
It was fun and I naively assumed everyone wanted to talk about sex. Not the case!
So I set out determined to heal sexuality in the world by helping others have freedom, fun and full self expression!
Even though I saw the bigger picture, I still felt small, insecure and like a total fraud.
Who was I to speak so passionately about sexuality when it was so jacked up in my own life?
But something kept driving me forward.
The more I healed myself, the more I was able to help others heal.
The more I walked my talked the easier it was to empower others to do the same.
I’ve done every single bit of hard work I ask my clients to do.
(And I’ve never stopped!)
I flipped the ole’ 80/20 rule and was living on the 20% side.
I ended 80% of my habitual drama, pain, toxic relations and being a victim.
I got more and more connected to my true self.
The more connected I became the more I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I just had no idea how I was going to leave a successful career to help people in love and sex.
I had bills to pay!
It was June, 2013 when I returned home after a week long vacation.
I opened the garage door to find water seeping across the floor.
I thought it was the washer which was in the garage…
Until I opened the door and found my entire house flooded with 4” of water. Everything was ruined and smelled of mold from the Phoenix heat.
Within four hours everything I owned was in the middle of each room being dried by fans. I filled my car with basic necessities to stay in a hotel for a few nights, or so I thought.
I had no idea I would never sleep in my home again.
The house was scheduled to go up for sale that week.
The massive water damage however, changed those plans and mine.
I ended up in a rental while the house was repaired and sold.
It was a traumatic transition and I didn’t get the gravity of it for a few years.
It took a flood to get my attention.
Six weeks of disability from a back injury didn’t do it the year before.
The doctor said flat out “Your work is killing you. The stress is making you unhealthy. The travel is damaging the discs in your back. AND you have to stop wearing high heels.”
I said I couldn’t quit my job and secretly thought no way would I give up my sexy high heels.
I requested a new doctor for return visits.
I just couldn’t fathom where to even start to change my life.
I was a first generation college student, never mind graduate school more or less a PhD.
It was totally unreasonable to leave “good job” and “good life” to talk about sex, love and relationships.
So the Universe helped me a long with the flood.
It got my attention, but my fear to leave stability was paralyzing.
I wasn’t moving along very well.
Serendipity had brought an amazing man into my life.
He was everything I created with a cherry on top!
We hadn’t dated long when he said “You can’t force a flower to bloom.”
He started to say over and over… just BE with me.
Or “Stop talking to me like an employee.”
“I don’t want to date a man.”
“I need a woman.”
A man! Employee!?
I was a woman!
And what did he mean BE with him… I was!
At least in the only way I knew how – as a overly masculine, ambitious corporate executive.
We parted ways amicably and my heart broke when he said “I really thought you were the one.”
His words changed my life.
I fantasized every day about changing my life, but I wasn’t taking any action.
So the Universe stepped in again. this time with a robbery.
They kicked in a door and stole all my computers and jewelry.
I was frightened and vulnerable, left to sleep in an unsecured house.
I called everyone but it was 4am and no one answered.
I felt more alone and vulnerable than ever before.
I was unable to work without my computers and I couldn’t shake the fear and violation.
My stress dramatically increased.
I cried to a friend “I’m not going to be a victim! This isn’t matching up with all the internal work. I just don’t get it.”
She said “Honey, you weren’t a victim. You weren’t home and you’re safe. They just took some of your stuff.”
I was dumbfounded.
She continued “You always say you don’t want to be a victim, so the Universe heard you. You weren’t”
I replied “But I don’t want any more traumatic events!”
She replied “Then declare you want your lessons with ease and peace.”
I was dumbfounded!
I realized my words were creating my reality.
That was the moment I disappeared my victim mentality.
I gained a bit more courage to leap into a new venture
I consciously realized stress was killing me the day I left work and I could feel my blood pressure coursing through my body.
I cried knowing I couldn’t keep going.
I also knew I would never have a heathy relationship if I continued up the executive ladder.
I was almost 45 and too ingrained in my masculine habits and ambition.
The environment could never foster my femininity.
Two questions finally helped me pull the trigger.
My mentor asked “What’s more important – your health or your savings account?”
The friend who introduced me to yoga asked:
“What’s more important a title and money or helping others and making a difference in the world?”
My answers were undeniable.
My health and making a difference.
There was no turning back.
I took a leap of faith and never looked back!
I have continued to do my own work, every damn day.
I never stop.
Which I why my clients have such successful results.
My Scientific training in behavior change, makes it’s easy to see what behaviors prevent connection, passion and ecstasy in life and relationships.
My Academic training in health intervention set me up with a tool box of proven methods for permanent behavior change.
About Dr. Lori
Fifty Shades of Unhealthy Love, Intimacy & Sex
I’m Giving Up Potato Chip
Five Easy Ways to Make Love to Life Today!
Request an Introduction
Located: Scottsdale Arizona
Mon – Fri: 9am – 6pm
Sat: 1pm – 6pm
© 2022 Dr. Lori Ebert. All rights reserved. Site by: DeskTeam360